Learning to live alone abroad

Do you want to put your skills and independence to the test? Go on an exchange program! There is no better test than leaving your home, leaving your country, and facing whatever the world has in store for you. Are you up for it?

Going to study abroad takes courage. Not everyone is willing to temporarily leave behind the comfort of home, their loved ones, and their daily routines let alone take full responsibility for themselves.

Leaving your home country for a significant period can be a shock. Once your exchange begins, you have to resolve every situation that comes your way as smoothly, effectively, and quickly as possible: finding a home or student residence, transferring academic credits, figuring out local transportation, budgeting your expenses, planning your meals, adapting to a new culture with different customs, socializing and making friends, doing your laundry, washing the dishes, and countless other things you may have never tried before, or that someone else used to do for you.

Stories:

Today, I'm sharing the story of Aranza Cobián, a Mexican student who set off to study architecture in Barcelona in August 2019 alongside Andrea, one of her college friends. While it ended up being the best experience of her life so far, she admits that learning to be independent was no walk in the park. She faced plenty of hurdles along the way challenges that ultimately helped her grow, mature, and discover just how much she is truly capable of.

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"I arrived in a brand-new, unfamiliar city, but going on exchange with my closest female friend from college was an incredible support system. Back then, I used to say that even if she hadn't come along, I would’ve pushed forward with my plans anyway. But now that it's all over, I know for a fact that without her, pulling off everything I managed to accomplish over those five and a half months would’ve been so much harder."

On their very first day in Barcelona, Andrea and Aranza had five apartment viewings lined up to find their future home.To make it to all of them, they had to navigate the public transit system, which, by the way, can be quite tricky to wrap your head around with all its different options (depending on where you are headed, your age, whether you are a student, plus the fact that some travel cards can be shared while others can't; to give you a better idea, check out the link to the Barcelona Metropolitan Transport system here). Walking wasn't really an option either, since they weren't used to walking for more than half an hour at a time, and taking a taxi would have cost a fortune. So, without fully understanding how it all worked, they took the leap and, thanks to the help of friendly locals, managed to pull it off.

A few days later, the friends went traveling. Aranza decided to head to Paris, and while it turned out to be a wonderful experience, she found herself facing an even tougher challenge.

"On my last day in Paris, on my way to the airport to head back to Barcelona, I bought my ticket and slipped my phone into my back pocket. As I went through the turnstiles, I felt a slight tug on my pants. I figured I had just brushed against something while wrangling my luggage, but seconds later I reached back and realized my phone was gone. I looked up and spotted a man staring right at me; the second our eyes locked, he took off running.

I was terrified, had no idea where to go, and was convinced I was going to miss my flight. In a panic, I ran back out of the station to ask the ticket agent for help, but she didn’t speak any English, so she couldn't do much. I stepped outside in tears, and luckily, a few kind strangers saw me crying and stepped in. They handed me an old-school paper map with the exact route I needed highlighted on it, and I started making my way toward the airport.

To this day, I honestly don't know how I managed, I was crying, scared to death, and had no clue whether I was even going to make my flight in time. In the end, everything turned out fine, and I even made it safely back to my hostel in Barcelona, a city I hadn't even fully figured out yet."

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But the challenges kept coming, often in everyday things that seem minor until you start living on your own, when suddenly they become a big deal. From figuring out the quickest commute to class, getting lost, and running late, to deciphering how to use the washing machine and cooking yourself a decent meal.

"I didn't know how to do laundry or cook, but during my first month, I lived with older girls who were around 27. They turned out to be the best roommates I could have asked for and taught me a ton. Of course, I couldn't rely on them 24/7, so I tried doing things on my own and I failed over and over again. I would get so frustrated that I'd end up calling my parents, sometimes even in tears (it sounds dramatic, but that’s honestly how I felt back then). I made sure to write down every single set of instructions they gave me, especially since my memory is terrible.

On top of that, there were days when I felt deeply lonely. Even with my friend from home and all the new friends I had made, waves of overwhelming anxiety and helplessness would hit me whenever that loneliness crept in, and it was something I really struggled to manage."

Yet it’s through these hurdles that the greatest rewards emerge unforgettable experiences, inner strength, and new life skills that leave you feeling downright invincible, no matter where in the world you find yourself.

"It was really tough in the beginning, but once I accepted that it would only last a few months and fueled by my desire to truly become independent, do so many things on my own, and see that I was capable of far more than I ever imagined I adjusted, and I ended up loving my adult life in an unfamiliar country. Now that I'm back in Mexico, I genuinely miss having to figure things out for myself and doing everyday basics like making my own meals, grocery shopping, or being able to walk down the street alone at any hour feeling completely safe wherever I was. Those became second nature to me while living there. I just want to say that even though it might seem daunting or downright impossible, it was completely worth it. The good moments far outweighed the hard ones, and even from the tough times, I learned so much."

Five and a half months completely transformed Aranza's perspective on life and her daily routine. Without a doubt, it put her independence to the test, proving she is more than ready to embrace it whenever the time comes. But anyone who has ever studied abroad knows that after an experience like this, there is no turning back. You find yourself wanting to become fully independent as soon as possible and, naturally, you develop a deep appreciation for everything your loved ones have always done for you. Taking full responsibility for yourself isn't easy, but nothing beats the feeling of knowing you can handle it all, and so much more.