Living with the Worst Roommate Ever

Going on an exchange often means sharing a home, in other words, living with roommates. Sometimes it’s to cut down on expenses, other times because we enjoy the company, and occasionally just because there is no other choice.

However, choosing the right housemates and setting crystal clear ground rules is essential, because things as vital as our safety, privacy, and personal space are on the line.

Back in 2019, I went on an exchange to Barcelona, and it was an incredible experience. I had the chance to go with my best friend and another classmate from university. Since there were three of us, we managed to find a huge house in El Maresme (just outside Barcelona) complete with a pool, a garden, and a private room for each of us. It was an absolute steal, and from day one, it truly felt like home.

Before moving in together, we set up house rules, openly voiced our concerns and needs, and always treated each other with respect. Because of that, sharing the space was effortless, harmonious, and genuinely fun.

• 

After a few months, we knew each other's deepest secrets, were partners in crime in everything, and had the home dynamic down to a science. But out of nowhere, chaos struck when our neighbor who, by the way, had done us plenty of favors asked us to take in her daughter in law, who had just moved to the city.

The favor came with a subtle warning. Our lease was only for five months, meaning we’d have to move out soon, and a real estate agent was supposed to help us secure another apartment that happened to belong to our neighbor's friend.

Her words went something like this: "If you don't take in my daughter in law, I'll have to ask my friend not to rent to you, and the real estate agent is completely on board with that."

After agonizing over it, we agreed to take in the new roommate. We were terrified of ending up without an apartment down the line, and she had promised us that her daughter in law was respectful, honest, and super organized. Plus, she was going to chip in on rent, and her son was supposed to stay with his dad so he wouldn't crowd our space.

Our rules weren't up for debate, we already had a solid routine in place. So when we met her, we laid out our non negotiables:

• No smoking inside the house.

• Total quiet during study hours.

• Your kid is welcome during the day, but he has to sleep at his dad's at night (he lived next door). This isn't the environment for a child: we throw parties often, our boyfriends crash here from time to time, and other times we need complete focus to study.

• Dishes duty is yours once a week.

• Rent and utility payments must always be on time.

• 

She agreed to the terms, and just like that, we started living with a complete stranger who seemed sweet at first, but quickly turned into our absolute worst nightmare.

She started smoking weed in the bathroom. It was awful waking up and instantly having to breathe in that pungent smell. Naturally, we asked her to stop doing it indoors, but she completely brushed us off.

Before long, she moved her son in for good. Out of politeness, we didn't say anything; we even babysat him occasionally and played with him. But one night when we hosted a party, she blew a fuse because "we weren't letting the boy sleep." She made a massive scene right in front of our guests, which forced us to bring up the original agreement: "The kid cannot live here." That set her off even more she started screaming at us, and that was the moment we found out she was undocumented; she had left Mexico intending to overstay and settle in Barcelona.

The woman was heavily addicted, completely reckless, had moved across the world with zero safety net for herself or her child, and turned out to be violent. That was more than enough reason for one of our Spanish friends to hint that he would report her, which finally got her to back off for the night.

From that moment on, our nightmare roommate would stumble in during the early hours of the morning, kicking the doors to wake us up. She gave us the silent treatment and went out of her way to pick fights whenever she could. Things escalated even further when her turn to do the dishes rolled around. There was a mountain of plates piling up because she hadn't touched them since the day before. When we asked her to handle them, she snapped, announcing that moving forward she would only wash her own dishes and her son's. We reminded her that the house had an established system long before she moved in and that it wasn't up for debate. She unleashed a wave of insults and threatened to beat us up "to make us understand."

• 

After she threatened to get physical, we had to tell her to pack her bags and be out by the end of the month, regardless of whether we'd get the other apartment or not. We called the real estate agent right away, and he was completely caught off guard, he had no clue any of this was happening and assured us the apartment was still ours if we wanted it.

The very next day, when we got back from class, the neighbor's daughter in law had already moved out. But she skipped out without paying her share of the utilities, so we had to call her ex husband to get him to step up. He apologized profusely for everything that went down and promised to pay us back, but we never saw a dime.

The month we spent living with her was an absolute ordeal, but it taught us a priceless lesson: "You can't just share your home with anyone." When it comes to living with roommates, boundaries and rules are there to protect your peace not to be broken.